all_along (all_along) wrote in gg_quotes,
all_along
all_along
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We Got Us a Pippi Virgin

LORELAI
What the hell is that?

[A large metal boxlike structure stands in the center of the room.]

EMILY
What does it look like? It's a panic room.

LORELAI
Like Jodie Foster?

EMILY
I have no idea.

LORELAI
But it's very small. It's more like an anxiety room.

EMILY
It's for one person.

LORELAI
Huh?

EMILY
You could maybe squeeze two in.

[Lorelai approaches the large object and begins fussing with it. Opening the door and looking inside]

LORELAI
And when those two are done panicking, the next couple of panickers get a turn?

EMILY
It's primarily for me.

LORELAI
Why the foyer?

EMILY
It was supposed to go upstairs, but the boors who delivered it claimed they weren't told about the stairs, so they didn't have the right equipment.

LORELAI
Hey, let's test it out. I'm gonna get you. [raises her hands like claws]

EMILY
Oh, my God.

LORELAI
You better get in there, 'cause I'm a bad guy. Baah!

EMILY
Stop it.

LORELAI
I'm menacing. Panic, damn it. Come on.

EMILY
There's nothing funny about this.

[Doorbell rings]

LORELAI
Oh! Get in, quick! Quick!

EMILY
Stop it.

[Emily walks to the door to open it.]</i>

RORY
Hi, Grandma. So -- hey, what's that?

[Lorelai stands next to the heavy structure like a car show model.]

LORELAI
I know how to protect you from shrapnel and Agent Orange. Ask me how.

EMILY
It's a panic room.

RORY
Like Jodie Foster?

EMILY
What does Jodie Foster have to do with this?

LORELAI
[Teasing] You need one for your dorm.

EMILY
That's not a stupid thought. It'll stop a 9-millimeter shell.

LORELAI
Handy for when Suge Knight comes for tea.

-We Got Us a Pippi Virgin, 5.05
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